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Help Me Choose A Synopsis

Two weeks ago, I revealed the cover for Fram Gage & The Inifinte Ability. I got some good positive feedback on the cover, and I appreciate the encouragement you have all given.


It's getting down to crunch time with the book. I finished the first draft this past week, and I am now in the proofreading and editing stages. If all goes well, the book should release in the beginning of December.


Here's where it gets fun! If there is one thing I hate, it is writing the synopsis for the book listing. They are difficult to write because I want to capture your interest, but at the same time, I don’t want to reveal too much of the story.


So if I hate it, why am I saying this is where it gets fun?


Well, I thought I would get you involved with this process. No, I’m not going to have you write the blurb. But I am giving you the option to help me pick it out.


Below are three listings I’ve considered using for the book. Since I know what the book is about and I am obviously biased toward it, I can’t objectively pick a blurb that stands out as interesting. But, since you have no clue as to the story, you can tell me if it is interesting.


Read the three listings below and think about which one makes you want to read the book the most. When you have made your decision, vote for the one you like in the poll below. The blurb with the most votes will be used for the book’s product listing.


Thanks for participating. Look for Fram Gage & The Infinite Ability in December 2011!


1. Every day is the same for the children of Biality Orphanage. They have a place to eat, sleep, and learn. What sets the orphanage apart from others though is The Ability Chamber—a room used for physical competitions that all the children enjoy.


Fram Gage and his friends always look forward to competing or watching a competition in The Ability Chamber.  But when Fram and his closest companions Tia Umber and Lanker Mason, along with an outsider named Bagger Carson compete together, the competition becomes more than they ever experienced, and they have to rely on each other to make it to the finish safely.

2. Every day is the same for the children of Biality Orphanage. They are fed, have clothes to wear, and overall they are treated well. What they enjoy most is the chance to compete in The Ability Chamber—a room used for physical competitions that gives them the chance to test out a superpower.

One day, Dr. Traisal and Dr. Samor, two doctors that operate Biality Orphanage and The Ability Chamber, call on Fram Gage to compete. But this competition is different than the others and many dangers await. Joined by Tia Umber, Lanker Mason, and Bagger Carson, the four go on a dangerous journey where they will need to rely on each other to make it to the finish safely.


3. Fram Gage has lived at Biality Orphanage for six months, remembering very little about his life before arriving there. During that time, he has made friends with only two other children, Tia Umber and Lanker Mason.


Life can be lonely at times at the orphanage, but a major highlight for all the resident children is the chance to compete in The Ability Chamber. The room allows them to do things that are impossible in the real world like being super strong, invisible, and more.


When Fram is asked to compete, along with Tia, Lanker, and an outsider named Bagger Carson, the four of them find that things in The Ability Chamber have changed and many dangers await. Will they be able to make it to the finish safely?



[polldaddy poll=5631969]

Comments

  1. Desmond,

    All of the blurbs get bogged down with too many names. Give me the name of your main character, but I don't need all the others. In this short piece, these names mean nothing and just slow things down. Hook me on the what, not the who.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great feedback Tony. You've given me something to consider. Perhaps I can take the most voted synopsis and then adjust to based on your suggestion. Your response is the exact reason I did this post.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree wtih Tony. Too many names. Also, starting out with "every day is the same" means that "every day is boring." That is NOT what you want your readers to feel.

    Try this.

    Fram Gage has finally found a safe place to live. For the last six months, the Biality orphanage has given him food and shelter. Sometimes they even let him feel like a superhero. For the orphanage has a secret: inside the Ability Chamber, the children can try on super powers.

    Fram likes being invisible, or super strong, and he really loves flying. But it's not all fun. Every trip to the Chamber is a competition, and only the strongest, most clever children win.

    Competing in the Ability Chamber is an honor, one that Fram can't turn down. He thinks he'll be fine as long as he's paired with his two best friends. But when he's teamed with a sullen outsider, and the Ability Chamber sends them on a dangerous mission, Fram isn't sure that they will compete successfully--or even survive.

    (I was just guessing about the flying part, and also the "sullen" outsider, but this is the kind of thing I think you need. Make it punchy!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great suggestion, Maragaret. Between Tony, you, and the votes, I might just write a synopsis that is 10 times better than I expected. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you everyone for your votes and suggestions. At this point, I'm ending the poll. Blurb #1 got 6 votes. Blurb #2 got 10 votes, and Blurb #3 got 10 votes.

    Since it is a tie, I am going to take the feedback I've received and write a final synopsis, which will blow all of these options away!

    Thanks for the great constructive criticism!

    ReplyDelete

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